


Yellow

by Everydayishark



Series: Monsta X bingo 2 [15]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, One-Sided Attraction, Smoking, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 00:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10503027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everydayishark/pseuds/Everydayishark
Summary: Hoseok sits down next to him, kicking off his shoes. The stench of cigarettes and booze creeps into Minhyuk’s nose, and for the millionth time he wonders why he’s here. Why he’s always here.It’s not like he doesn’t know the answer.(Because like Hoseok is addicted to his cigarettes, Minhyuk is addicted to Hoseok.)





	

Yellowed fingers with broken, chewed on fingernails tap impatiently on the desk. The edges of his nails are always dirty, blackened by ash and dirt and whatever else. He doesn’t care. He never has.

He looks up as Minhyuk enters the room. The room, much like his nails, is filthy. It’s empty aside from a few pieces of beaten down furniture and unpacked moving boxes. There are no decorations, no curtains, no bed. It’s illuminated by a single lightbulb dangling from an open fixture, casting dramatic shadows in the low light.

A heavy cloud of smoke hangs in the room. It’s suffocating. He never opens the windows. It doesn’t bother him. (It also doesn’t bother him that it bothers Minhyuk. After all, it’s Minhyuk who decides to keep coming back.)

Minhyuk sits down at the edge of the mattress on the floor. They both know what he is here for. They don’t have to pretend. (and yet, they do)

“Hey.” Hoseok says, with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, dragging himself up from the desk. He has a new set of bruises on his arm, but Minhyuk doesn’t dare ask. Hoseok never answers truthfully anyway.

Hoseok sits down next to him, kicking off his shoes. The stench of cigarettes and booze creeps into Minhyuk’s nose, and for the millionth time he wonders why he’s here. Why he’s always here.

It’s not like he doesn’t know the answer.

(Because like Hoseok is addicted to his cigarettes, Minhyuk is addicted to Hoseok.)

Hoseok leans over, and Minhyuk resists the urge to gag as he opens his mouth to let Hoseok slip in his tongue. It’s like kissing an ash tray, but he gets used to the taste as they fall into their comfortable pattern. (Hoseok is demanding, Minhyuk is willing. Minhyuk gives- and Hoseok takes. It’s the way it has always been.)

It has become a routine. They don’t talk. They fuck, and then Minhyuk leaves. He regrets it, for a couple of days, but inevitably he can never stay away, and the circle starts again.

Once, Minhyuk broke the routine. He suggested maybe Hoseok should get help. Hoseok flew off the handle. He had never seen him that angry.  Yelling, screaming, horrible things. He told him to never come back.

Three weeks later, Minhyuk is on his knees in front of his door, begging, pleading.

(He knows it’s fucked up. He knows it’s unhealthy, the thing that they have.)

Minhyuk knows it means nothing to Hoseok. He knows he is just a means to an end for him, a distraction from his life which has been gradually spiraling out of control. He never tells anything about his life, but he doesn’t have to.

Minhyuk sees. (He sees the bills piling up by the door, the mountain of dishes in the sink that never seem to move. He sees the empty alcohol bottles (so many, so god damn many), stashed away under his desk. He sees the bruises, the cuts, the injuries that inexplicably show up all over his body. He sees the way his hands tremble when he isn’t smoking, drinking or fucking.)

And Minhyuk feels. (Hoseok is rough, when he’s drunk, too rough. He’s impatient, and deliberately cruel. Minhyuk is afraid someday he’ll hurt him. Really hurt him.)

And yet he keeps coming back.

(He knows, he knows he shouldn’t)

Hoseok’s fingers slide underneath his shirt, sliding it off over his head. He sucks on the flesh of his neck, too hard, and Minhyuk winces. His body is covered in marks, Hoseok’s marks. (“So everyone can see you’re my bitch,” he slurred, one day.)

They range from faded purple smudges to angry red blotches, covering his pale flesh like a proliferated bouquet of wild roses. Hoseok likes to make the biggest ones on visible places. (Minhyuk protests, but it’s not like Hoseok ever listens, and the protests fade into soft moans as Hoseok sucks on the soft flesh surrounding his nipples)

Hoseok presses him down on the mattress, pulling down his pants. Hoseok doesn’t waste his time with niceties. Hoseok isn’t patient, or gentle. Hoseok takes his dick in his mouth, sucking down fast and hard. His teeth scrape the delicate skin, but the pain barely registers to Minhyuk as Hoseok’s tongue turns lazy circles around the head, the metal of his piercing cold against his skin, sucking him with obscene, wet sounds.

Just before Minhyuk is about to come, he releases his dick from his mouth. (He always does this. Taking him to the edge and then holding him back until it drives him crazy)

\--

Minhyuk meets Hoseok in a bar in his final year of college. He had just been dumped, and he was well on his way to being properly hammered, when he sees him across the room. Wearing just some sleeveless band shirt and ripped jeans, with his badly dyed blue hair with black roots showing, the eyebrow piercing and the cigarette dangling from his lips, he seemed like just the right kind of bad boy rebound fuck Minhyuk was looking for.

(The tongue piercing, he found out about later, and the tattoos on his thigh and ass.)

(Minhyuk was right, about the rebound sex, he hadn’t thought about his ex once after Hoseok)

(He was wrong about so many other things, but at least that part was right)

Now, several years later, Hoseok still looked pretty much the same. He had traded in the blue hair for his original black locks. He lost the eyebrow piercing (but kept the tongue piercing), and got a few more tattoos, but he was still the same broken man he met that night back when he was in college.

Maybe Minhyuk had thought he could fix him, at first. Now, he just knows he is beyond repair. Hoseok doesn’t want to be fixed. Hoseok doesn’t want to be helped. Hoseok doesn’t want his pity, or sympathy, or feelings.

All he wants is someone he can ruin. (Someone other than himself)

All he wants is someone he can wreck.

\--

His fingers slide over Minhyuk’s ass. Years of heavy smoking have turned them a sickly yellow. His nailbeds are a tainted ashy brown. His fingers are fucking disgusting. (And yet he wants them inside of him)

Hoseok grabs the bottle of lube laying on the floor next to the mattress (sticky stains mark the carpet from their last encounter).

Wasting no time, he pushes in two fingers at once, working him open. (Minhyuk hates how easily he opens up for him, how easily he submits to his touch)

After what he has deemed an appropriate time of fingering (it obviously isn’t enough, but Hoseok is impatient), Hoseok kicks Minhyuk’s legs apart. He pulls down his pants and boxers (not even taking the effort to take them off entirely.), giving his dick a few tugs before lining up himself before Minhyuk’s entrance.

Minhyuk hates how much he loses control once he is with Hoseok. He has his shit together pretty well, in general—he has a job he likes reasonably well, he lives in a small, but nice apartment, he has great friends, but when it comes to Hoseok he feels like that insecure, fragile college kid again.

The one who got his heart broken. The one who wanted to fix the bird with the broken wings.

The one who fell in love with the man he couldn’t have. Shouldn’t have.

And even still, he loves him. He hates that he loves him. He hates that even as he treats him poorly, he still wants him. Longs for him.

He hates that even when he yells at him, saying all those awful things, he just wants to kiss those lips.

He hates that even when he digs his fingernails into his skin, all he wants to do is lock his fingers into his, hold his hands close to him.

He hates that even when he fucks him, with zero care and affection, all he wants to do is love him.

He hates that, despite everything, he still comes back for more.

(And he comes untouched, spilling all over his stomach)

\--

Hoseok fucks him into the mattress. He’s rough and impatient. He cums inside Minhyuk, cum spilling from Minhyuk’s ass, leaving more stains on the already disgusting mattress. Hoseok rolls off, reaching for one of the half empty packs of cigarettes next to the mattress.

He rolls the cigarette between his yellow stained fingers, contemplating, before lighting it.

It’s the sign that their deal is done.

(Minhyuk returns home, feeling dirty and ashamed, vowing to never return again)

He lasts five days, this time.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The third color for the Rainbow of Death; Yellow. (This one's for you, Ai <33 and also I'm sorry)
> 
> Uhm. I'm counting it for the [rare pairings] square, though they're not that rare, but w/e. Fight me.  
> So. Uhm. YAY? More awfulness!
> 
> I'm sorry.


End file.
